erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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