.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
