dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
