Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
