There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
