Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
