my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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