its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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