hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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