those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize