You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
