Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
