I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
