On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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