billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
