I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
