So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i was born a porn star she said
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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