How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
