Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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