oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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