.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
