I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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