It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
