I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
this will be a night to untag.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
