you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
