So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
