HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
