In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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