I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
