you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
