ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
