I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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