Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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