We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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