Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize