I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
