I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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