ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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