but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
