This girl is more easily done than said...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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