Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
