Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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