Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
