I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Success! We fucked roommates!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
