so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
