evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
