chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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