I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
