i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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