i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
