Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
