If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
