everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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