forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Randomize