awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
