he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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