sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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