I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
